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The ancestors you are looking for are currently unavailable. They may be hiding in offline resources which will require you to contact repositories via more archaic methods. If they are dead, rest assured they are not creating more descendants.
Please try the following:

  • Click the surname change button, or try again later.
  • If you are listed in the Social Security Death Index, please check your pulse and confer with a doctor.
  • If you descend from one of three brothers who landed on the East Coast in a barrel with 2 cents to his name contact banks in the region where he landed to collect the inheritance.
  • It may be possible to contact your ancestors via a psychic. Digital cameras will not typically record pictures of ancestral visions so a tape recorder will be necessary to record your interpretations.
  • If your ancestor was involved in covert operations you may wish to contact the CIA or FBI in order to locate them.
  • Some ancestors were deposited on Earth by UFOs. Please check passenger lists for UFOs which are not housed anywhere on Earth.
  • If you are trying to prove descent from Adam and Eve , please consult appropriate bibliographic references and make certain you have your fig leaf in the right place.
  • Descent from Charlemagne can be proven by having all your crowns in a row. Prince Charles may be able to assist you.
  • If you descend from an Indian Princess, keep looking for your Prince (or the ancestor formerly known as Prince, take your pick)
  • Your family tree may have tree rot. Check with your local nursery for appropriate treatment.

 

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5 Responses

    • I try and think that they want me to know that they are smarter than I think and pretty good at remaining elusive.

  1. Alien ancestors? Mulder & Scully (or the CSM) may be able to help. Or one of the History Channel guys: Giorgio Tsoukalos, Erich von Däniken, et. al. Otherwise, AWESOME ROAD TRIP! Thanks for the chuckle.

  2. Alien ancestors? Mulder & Scully (or the CSM) may be able to help. Or one of the History Channel guys: Giorgio Tsoukalos, Erich von Däniken, et. al. Otherwise, AWESOME ROAD TRIP!

    Thanks for the chuckle!

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