It’s frustrating when DNA matches do not respond, but it’s a simple fact of life. Getting irritated about it won’t solve any problems. It is important to remember (some of these are tongue in cheek):

  • some people never check the messages associated with their account
  • some people never get the messages
  • some people only wanted their ethnicity results
  • some got the test as a present, did it, and really do not care
  • some found a “surprise” in their results and decided to avoid it entirely
  • some have died

There’s a few additional points worth remembering:

  • some are confused by their results and don’t respond when they can’t figure the person out
  • some adoptees are unable to help and don’t respond because of that
  • others can’t help you so they don’t respond
  • the match is so far back that they have no clue–and maybe no interest
  • the match is on a family they really aren’t interested in
  • your message didn’t provide any details about the kit they matched, where you think the match is
  • your username sounds sketchy–“hotgenealogymama” may put some people off
  • you help them discover their great-grandpa wasn’t their great-grandpa and then they stop communicating
  • real life intervenes

Focus on the individuals who do respond and go from there.

Note: I made the name “hotgenealogymama” up and did not check to see if there is someone with that username on any DNA site. I’m sorry if that is your username.



2 Responses

  1. I believe there is a lot more of the “real life intervenes” than we realize. My current record for time lapse in between message sent and a response is 2 years.

    • I have some that have been at least 6 months or more–a few longer. I often send one followup message if it’s been awhile and leave it at that.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Genealogy Tip of the Day Book