rant alert: If this post about FindAGrave offends you, please unfollow, unlike, as appropriate. Do not message me in an attempt to change my opinion.

My father passed away the morning of 7 March 2020. Unlike my Mother’s passing, it was sudden and not expected.

We split the duties of notifying various relatives as our immediate family is small. Sometime early that afternoon when I had completed notifying everyone on my share of the “needs personal contact list,” I wrote a draft of Dad’s obituary and created a FindAGrave memorial for him. I knew where he would be buried. The cemetery location was not a problem. We had not finalized any arrangements, but I knew enough details to create a shell of a memorial on FindAGrave.

A few days later, I went to add his obituary to his FindAGrave memorial and someone had already added suggestions to it. His picture was not immediately posted on the funeral home website (it took us a while to choose it) and at some point before the funeral someone added that to his FindAGrave memorial as well.

All before he was actually buried.

Can’t you people just wait a God-damned minute?

Can’t you people just wait a God-damned hour?

Or, heaven forbid, wait a week or two?

Please do not tell me these people mean well or it’s something to do to occupy their time. You can read the obituaries a month late. It’s not a race to see who has the most memorials on FindAGrave although I suppose that is something these people will want on their own FindAGrave page when they pass.

The only reason I created the page the day he died was because of “well-meaning” obituary creepers who create FindAGrave pages for the recently deceased and then make it difficult for family members to become administrators of their FindAGrave memorials. There’s no reason for anyone to create a page that fast for someone who recently died. You can wait a month. Seriously you can.

And Ancestry.com, can’t you find a way to “turn off” suggested modifications to FindAGrave pages that have been created for the recently deceased? Or do you just simply not want to? Odd how you can do all that high-falutin’ programming for the DNA analysis, and yet are unable to figger this sort of thing out.

While I’m frustrated about the way FindAGrave handles memorials for the recently deceased, there’s an important thing to remember. The people who really mattered at the time Dad passed were either those who were at the funeral or communicated with my family during that time. It was not a FindAGrave contributor.

If that sounds a little harsh, so be it.

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